Writing is supposed to be cathartic so I thought I’d jot down a few notes about how I manage the depression and M.E.

Went to the osteopath today because I was in some pain. It’s part of the maintenance and upkeep. As usual after the osteopath I’m pretty low tonight and on the verge of tears. Taking regular painkillers. Can’t take Brufen because of my asthma. Big old bummer, because they are such effective painkillers. I can take Cocodamol though, and am at the doctor’s next week so might mention it then.

However I re-arranged the pedicure, which was going to be tomorrow, and have cried off the knitting get together tonight. Will see if I am able to get to the sewing course on Saturday – I’d really like to go, because it’s making a Japanese Knot Bag and matching purse, but if I’m not up to it, then I’m just not.

Such decisions sound a bit sad, but in fact once I’ve decided that I need to cancel stuff, I actually feel a bit better about things. Not exactly in control of my health, just managing it better. I don’t like to feel that it’s managing me. Even though it probably is. Mm.

I’ve been sleeping a lot. Most of Tuesday. Managed to have a shower and wash my hair on Wednesday. Then had a half hour sit down, and did my ironing. I do it every week, and hubby does his own, so it only takes about 25 minutes maximum. Then lunch, and then did the online shop. So quite a lot achieved yesterday. But the afternoon sleeps are long. At least three hours, sometimes four. Then I sleep all night too.

Might consider a bath and face pack tomorrow. Will see how I wake up. I very, very rarely have a bath. We have some nice bubble bath though and it does help relax my back.

I have two go-to authors whose books I read when I feel like this. Bill Bryson, who is just one of my favourite writers, and Tom Cox. Ditto. Can’t help smiling as I read their stuff.

Retail therapy always helps too, so have ordered a couple of tops (reduced) from Warehouse. Two different colours, and two different sizes, so we shall see if I like the colours and if they fit.

Hubby is off to a meeting tonight so I shall watch some crappy tv. No knitting mojo at all at the moment, and booked in for steroid injections into the knuckles of my right hand on Monday. Will see how things go after that.

Christmas almost organised. Thank goodness for the internet. A bit of baking to do, but nothing major. Last year I did a Yule Log which is fat free, therefore dairy free. It was delicious and both hubby and I liked it, which is a bonus. He doesn’t like fruit cake so if I made a proper Christmas cake I’d just eat it all and put on loads of weight. And am going to do some mince pies only in filo pastry as I have some in the freezer. Everybody else can eat normal ones from the shop, but the dairy free ones from the shop tend to be cheap and nasty.


Lots and lots has happened since September. We are still awaiting our new electric charger as the electricity supply needs some amendment. Don’t ask me what. It just does. That bit won’t cost us anything, then we have to wait for a quote for the actual charger, blah blah blah.

Younger Daughter, her hubby and little girl are now in New Zealand. As we approach winter here, they are in springtime and having lovely weather. Thank goodness for WhatsApp video calls and wi-fi. The last week before departure was a bit (very) fraught and the journey was long, but they are settled into their delightful temporary accommodation now.

The weekend after they all arrived in NZ, Older Daughter arrived for the weekend with her little boy. Who is delightful. Very affectionate.  From time to time he wraps up his toy tiger in some sort of blanket and just climbs on to my lap for a cuddle. Yeah!


There is a garden centre 7 minutes’ walk from our house. It’s a chain, and sells all sorts of stuff apart from plants. There’s a cafe, lots of “commissions” (small shops within it) and that’s where the knitting shop is, so I am there a lot. I have a self-imposed rule never to buy their plants, though, after bad experiences in the past. Once I took back an expensive hydrangea which had died, and the reason it died was because there were two separate flowering stalks, from separate plants, stuck into the pot. They didn’t even ask, they just refunded me.

Last Thursday I broke my own rule, and am already regretting it. I wanted some winter heathers to cheer up the winter time garden. I’d looked online and couldn’t find what I wanted, so gritted my teeth and had a look in said garden centre. Found just what I wanted. Or so I thought. I’ve just potted them up, and I should have checked when I bought them, but all three of them were so badly root/pot bound I had difficulty getting them out of their pots. Then they looked like they were covered in some sort of material. Nope. More roots, all bound round the plant. So I’ve bunged them in and am hoping for the best, but fearing the worst. Hmph. We shall see. The only silver lining is that I am probably not as odd as my self-imposed rules might make me seem. Mm.

At the risk of seeming even stranger, I have to admit I have done about 80% of our Christmas shopping. Mostly on line. In fact probably all online. Still a few things to get, but really not very many. Spare room now filling up with (labelled – oh yeah!) stuff and the poor postman is laden down almost every day.

Had my flu jab yesterday. I didn’t even feel the needle, but my arm is aching now. Better that than the flu, though, hey. And because I will be 65 before the end of next March, they gave me the jab which provides better protection. Good.




End of an era

For me, anyway. I have had my Ford Ka for 20 years. I bought it from a local Ford dealership where it had only been used as a demo car, and it was six months old. It’s done 47,000 (UK) miles, and been serviced and MoT’d regularly. (MoT stands for Ministry of Transport [roadworthiness test]).

Well, it failed the MoT spectacularly on Tuesday. The garage said I can still drive it until the old MoT expires on 5th October. However, hubby and I have been talking casually about our next car being an electric one and had done some research.

So we took the plunge and on Wednesday bought a three year old BMW i3 after test driving it. It’s a bit (very) odd, but handles very well and drives like a dream. Most of my driving is local. (I can’t drive for more than 15 minutes at a time). We’re picking it up on Tuesday next week. Very, very excited. The Ka didn’t have air conditioning, electric windows, and was a manual gear change. None of those things were a problem, but to have all the fancy schmancy mod cons is quite exciting. I loved the Ka. It was easy to drive, park, and worked for 20 years. Not bad I think.

Am looking forward to learning all the computery bits and driving it. The only complication is charging it up. We are having a “fast charge” point fitted to our house, and we’re unlikely to use it for long journeys, but there is a bewildering range of public chargers. Some are free, some are not. A variety of different providers. Some do fast charge, some do not. I will ask the garage for advice but honestly! you’d think there would be some sort of universal charge card that would pay for whatever you use wherever you use it. Perhaps there will be eventually.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Finished the toy I was knitting. It’s lovely. No pics, it’s a gift. Started a new project – a cardi for ESW who is almost 4 now. After that will be a hooded jacket for LCS (he’s nearly 5!)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The garden is lovely. I absolutely adore autumn. The sun is shining but not too hot. The colours are mellow. Love it.

“interesting times”

Well, in the UK, at least.

I’ve been trying not to get too depressed about the news, but today I was cheered up a little because Scotland’s highest civil court has ruled the suspension of Parliament unlawful. There will be an appeal next week but fingers crossed.

It’s “interesting” because we’re just watching a series on TV about the rise of the Nazis, and we’ve just got to 1933, when government simply got rid of all the inconvenient checks and balances and took over the police, the press, anything that got in their way. As I’m of Jewish heritage (from my dad and his family) I am particularly interested in this stuff.

Anyway, anyway. Did a bit of gardening yesterday – hubby got out the electric handsaw and pruned some very over-exuberant shrubs, I picked up the debris, cut it smaller, and put it in our green wheelie bin. Which, I may say, is now full to bursting.

Today went to the hospital for my eyes to be checked. Tomorrow off to the osteopath. And all last week was not at all well with an infection which actually needed antibiotics. A three day course and I’m much better now, if somewhat thinner. (no, not D & V! I just don’t eat when I’m ill).

Managed a bit of knitting, finally, and it’s a toy, so small pieces. Quite satisfying really.

Just drinking a very welcome cup of tea after my afternoon sleep and then I’ll do the shopping list. We have it delivered so it’s “do the list, log in, order it all, and wait for them to arrive”. Excellent. Much better now we have broadband. In the early days with a dial-up connection (remember those?) the whole thing would crash half way through an order. Very frustrating.


Almost September

It was just starting to rain today when I took this photo. Every year it cheers me up. A bright yellow flower on a dull grey British day. The garden is lush and green, but the sky is grey and cloudy. It’s just such a jolly colour.


Then I noticed this.

Yesterday we celebrated Oldest Grandson’s 18th birthday. On a boat trip in Bristol. It was really lovely. A blended, extended, complicated family, with various children and exes. It was excellent. We all like each other and have fun together.

Had a sort out of my knitting. First of all in my head, last night, and then in real life, today. When I’ve finished my current project, which is a Bonbon bunny, I’m going to knit another toy (a gift so no details). Then I’m going to see how I feel. I’ve ordered some Knitpick Comfy Worsted from the States (75% cotton, 25% acrylic, which is impossible to get in the UK – why??) so am quite excited about that. It’s for a shawlette for me. Me! Hooray!

I’ve contacted several teddy bear repairers, but no joy so far. They haven’t all replied, but one said he wouldn’t know where to start (oh great), another one says their books are full until next summer, and the third said it would take many hours, cost a lot of money, and then she’d still be fragile and have lots of scars. She (the teddy bear in question) is currently having a rest in a box. Will see what happens.

The end of the story about my mobile phone: got the Motorola back, fixed, but it wouldn’t recognise the SIM card. I’d kept hold of the SIM card and the micro SD card while they repaired it. Got a new SIM off Virgin, still no joy. Eventually gave in and just bought a new phone. Samsung Galaxy A10, since you ask. It’s fine. But after two weeks it suddenly stopped accessing our wifi network. Sigh. I did lots of googling, as per usual, and eventually what fixed it was fiddling about with the security settings on the router. And now it works.

Guidelines for Life

  1. Always wear comfortable clothes, including (especially) shoes. Even for a party.
  2. Ignore the siren call of “dairy free” signs on cakes in cafes. Particularly at motorway services. The result of buying and eating one: they’re always stale, dry and tasteless, so there’s guilt for spending the money, guilt for eating it and guilt for eating and not enjoying it.
  3. Do not beat yourself (myself) up for being ill. That’s just insane. But I still do it.
  4. And a new one which has recently become clear to me. Never, ever buy handbags on the internet. It’s always, always a disaster. There’s a whole science attached to buying a handbag. Colour. Style. Does it suit me? is it comfortable to wear? is it big enough? Does it call to me? and so on.

That’s it.


Not such a good day

I have slept almost all day today. Woke at 10.40, had breakfast, back to bed at 11.30. Slept till 16.45. Oh. My. Days.

But you know what? it’s ok. I clearly needed it. Not feeling quite so low as I was last night, and have made a few plans re the teddy bear renovation.

First up, she’s very old, and in a very bad state. I read the Dorling Kindersley Little Book of Bears, which has clarified what a big job it would be, and I’d hate to ruin her. So I’m going to take some photos of her tomorrow which show how decrepit she is, and email them to a number of bear repairers for quotes.

Then I guess I’ll need to start saving my pennies. Mm.